Dear Mama

Post #104: Dedicated to: For Your Glory; Matt Maher

Happy Birthday! I wish I could say this to you in korean, but I've lost so much of the language, it's rather sad. Thank you for being my mama for 19 years now, and for being the greatest mom ever. Thank you for pushing me but supporting me at the same time, for making me work hard but telling me to simply do my best. Thank you for sending me random texts everyday reminding me that God loves me and you and dad love me. Thank you for cooking all my favorite foods when I'm home, for giving me money to go out and have fun when you rarely spend money yourself. Thank you for how hard you work each and every day so that I might have everything I could ever want, and thank you for setting an example of how to pray and live my life for God. Thank you for understanding my faults, forgiving my sins, and apologizing first when I was too stubborn to do so. I am indebted to you for the rest of my life, and I can only hope that when I grow up, I can pay you back for all the difficult times and stress I've caused you. I love you lots!

Winding Down

Post #103: Dedicated to: My Princess

There are so many things I wanted to do when I was home. Eat this, buy that, read this, finish that, meet them... Have I done all of those things and more? Ha! Hardly.

I'm only home for 10 more days...where did the month go? This time last year, I was longing to go back to school. I missed campus, I missed my friends, I missed everything about school...but this year, not so much. Sure, once I'm back, I'm bound to adjust to my schedule of classes and work, and eventually, I'll be fine. But for now, I'm holding on to everything I can at home.

Because who knows when I'll be back?

p.s. I love the fact that I go to a school in which an important campus-wide email is sent out to everyone, notifying students of the tragic news in which two trees had to be cut down. Love it.

The Holidays

Post #102: Dedicated to: The Proposal

I'm kinda bummed that the holiday season is over.

1) Christmas trees and decorations

I can't wait until I have my own place and am able to decorate however I want, whenever I want. White trees, ornaments, and Christmas lights galore! Welcome to winter wonderland.

Also, Christmas decorations outside in the city. Or just Christmas lights in neighborhoods. I absolutely love lights wrapped around trees. I could just sit inside a cafe sipping a cup of hot tea staring outside at decorations all night long.

2) Ugly sweaters

Ugly sweaters...and ugly sweater Christmas parties! Fairisle knit patterns? Yes, please! Snowflakes and Santas? Even better. Add in potluck parties with friends, games, and secret santa, and you've got a recipe for a wonderful evening.

3) Yummy Christmas goodies!

It always seems as though Christmastime brings family and friends together...to bake. (They don't even have to be Christmas themed...although that's always a bonus.) But I'm sure no one's complaining! Gotta love baked goods, especially with a mug of hot chocolate. Yum.

So, holiday season 2011...I'll be ready to see you again in 362 days! Can't wait.

p.s. Watching The Proposal makes me want to go to Alaska. So beautiful. Also, Ryan Reynolds is awesome. And beautiful.

Write and Dream

Post #101: Dedicated to: Rocketeer; Far East Movement

(This is going to be my Christmas tree one day. Well...with some lime and turquoise splashed in there too.)

I've realized that my blog has become a space for me simply to rant and rave about things I am angry, frustrated, or annoyed about. And while that may be fine...it's not why I started a blog in the first place. I've just become lazy, and I definitely hate being lazy (although I sleep a lot...sleepiness = laziness? Debatable.). So...

New Years Resolution #1:

Post more often. Post random things. Post old memories. Post photos. And then write. Write about anything and everything that strikes my fancy. Because when I write, I dream. And that's the reason I started this blog. To write, and to dream.

I hope everyone's Christmases and New Years were memorable! Mine was classic (extended) family time...and although I personally came across some bumps in the road, it was a fairly wonderful week. It was great to see everyone again, and I'm blessed to have so many aunts and uncles and cousins in my life. Apparently next year, we're planning a Christmas/New Year trip to Hawaii!!!! My first time! I can't wait :)

The Grades

Post #100: Dedicated to: Marry You; Glee

Someone tell me it's okay that I'm not perfect. I don't need to get A's and perfect scores on everything in my life. It's okay. You'll love me anyway, you'll love me the way I am.

Who I really need to hear this from is my parents. Unfortunately...

I never feel like enough. For once in my life, though, I'd like to hear my parents tell me that it's enough that I'm attending an amazing four-year college. It's enough that I'm learning new things everyday, I'm exploring my interests, I'm developing my skills as a writer and a critical thinker, I'm challenging myself every single day.

But unfortunately...

I think the only thing my dad would say if I told him that is: where is all my money going? How is this going to help you in the future? What are you going to do with your life? How are you going to get into graduate school? Where are the grades?

The grades, my dear father, are much more difficult to obtain than you might think.

I think that's the one thing that's keeping me from being an English major - something I feel that, deep down in my heart, is what I really want to do.

Damn the grades.

A great way to kick off my 100th blog post.

Sheltered

Post #99: Dedicated to: I Want to Spend My Lifetime Loving You; Marc Anthony and Tina Arena

I've lived a fairly sheltered life. But now, I feel like that is being used against me, as if it's going to be a disadvantage out in the real world. Every time I feel like this, I'd just quell my feelings and ignore them, but they just keep resurfacing now. So I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I wish I was more experienced in all things of the world...but at the same time, that scares me. A lot.

And it also just makes me sad when people don't seem to have the same great experiences as I do. I guess you're bound to come upon that everywhere, but for some reason it always just comes across to me as a great shock. And then it bums me out.

I feel like I haven't seen the real world yet. Just a sheltered nothing.

Ahhhhh

Post #98: Dedicated to: All I Do is Win; DJ Khaled

I can't think anymore.