A Farewell

Post #60

"When I am gone, release me, let me go.

I have so many things to see and do.

You mustn't tie yourself to me in tears,

Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave to you my love, you can only guess,

How much you gave to me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you each have shown,

But now it's time I travelled on alone.

So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must,

Then let your grief be comforted by trust.

It's only for a while that we must part,

So bless the memories within your heart.

I won't be far away, for life goes on,

So if you need me, call and I will come.

Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near,

And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear

All my love around you, soft and clear.

And then, when you must come this way alone,

I'll greet you with a smile and a

Welcome Home."

For all who have lost someone close, near, and dear to their hearts.

A beautiful message. A farewell.

In My Head

Post #59: Dedicated to: King of Anything, Sara Bareilles

In my head are thoughts and songs. In that order, in reverse, or sometimes mixed up.

When I'm quiet in the car, I'm thinking. When I'm quiet on the beach, I'm replaying a song in my head. When I'm pushing a grocery cart through the aisles, I'm humming under my breath. When I'm in my bed drifting off to sleep, I'm thinking and imagining and planning.

And when I'm thinking, I'm wondering. I'm wondering what the rest of the day will be like, I'm imagining scenarios in my head of what's going to happen. What if's run through my head every single day, and I imagine what I would say...what she would say, what he would say...what I would do, what he would do, how things would end up.

My mind is a never-ending train of thoughts. I never thought I was one with lots of imagination, but it turns out I am.

And so I ask, when the world is quiet...what's running through your mind? Or is it blank?

Reunions

Post #58

As I look through my old junior high school yearbook, I see the faces of some of my used-to-be closest friends.

You know, back when everyone was friends with everyone else, and everyone was just too young and innocent and harmless?

There's always that guy, the one who was really cute (in a babyish kind of way) and sat next to you in class and bugged you to no end, but secretly you liked the attention, because he was part of the very very small "popular" crowd that existed back then.

And fast forward to now, where said boy is not a nice boy. Well, no...I guess he very well could be, not that I'd ever know. But he doesn't do nice things, that's for sure, and he most definitely likes to have fun.

It's weird. Thinking of how all these people used to be. I've always thought that if tomorrow, I ran into some of my old, old friends, things would be the same. They'd act the same, as would I. But I'm realizing that's not the case, because we all change. We all grew up, and we're not the same young kids we used to be. Personalities have developed. Consciences emptied. Interests completely transformed. It's weird.

But then again, I feel like in time for our 10 year or even 15 year high school reunion, things would be back to normal. Maybe because by then, we'd all be mature (hopefully, that is) adults who had stable jobs and lives and didn't spend every day partying or lounging around doing nothing productive. Maybe it's just that now, we're all still teenagers, no matter how old we are, and are still just as immature as ever.

So I'd like to attend my reunions. And see how people have changed (or not changed). And see how many of my old friends remember my name.

Weddings

Post #57: Dedicated to: A Very Potter Musical

There's something about weddings. And wedding photography. And capturing in a photo the indescribable feeling of perfection that is love. True love.

So there's something that draws me to weddings. Down to every single detail - from the save the dates to the flower bouquet to the centerpieces - the world is beautiful.

How wonderful it would be to be a part of making someone's day, of making someone's world. How wonderful it would be to witness such love in action, promises and vows that don't go unnoticed.

I can't tell if this is me loving weddings because they're absolutely amazing and gorgeous, or if this is me loving weddings because I want to fall madly in love and plan my own amazing and gorgeous wedding someday.

But truth be told: I love weddings. And I love photography (although I may not be so great....yet...?) Would it be horrible and absolutely unrealistic and impractical if I considered wedding photography as a future? Or even as a hobby in the future. I feel like I've had bigger dreams - like becoming a published author, so this is just another goal to add to the bucket list.

And yet I hesitate.

Time

Post #56: Dedicated to: Somebody to Love, Justin Bieber

I feel like time is going by too quickly. As much as I want to be at school, I don't want to leave here. Time is passing too quickly, and everything's changing. I don't like change.

But I'm grateful for the YG fam.

Let the Son Shine

Post #55

This weekend was great. Truly, spectacularly, great.

I think I enjoyed being a counselor more than a camper, because it gave me license to be enthusiastic and loud at all times, and I think my campers appreciated that. (At least, I hope so! Ha.)

I'll admit, I was worried before, because:

1) I didn't know many of the new kids, and I didn't think they'd be...fun. Or nice. (Which they were.)

2) It was my first year as a counselor, and I really had no idea what to expect, or how I would act...how I would treat the kids and my position, etc.

But it was so great, and so worth it. It didn't really matter (it doesn't really matter) how my group placed in the end, because I'm pretty sure we all had a lot of fun. Especially as we were preparing our skit - we'd break out laughing as soon as A- started reciting his lines, because the whole thing was just so ridiculous. I hope my kids felt the same way I did. And I'm glad some of them came out of their shells.

As I was sitting in front of the fire Saturday night, listening to the stream of random, quiet, shy kids (full of surprises) come up and talk, to spill their hearts, I was awed. I was awed and in awe of the success that camp appeared to be, and how great, how truly amazing, these kids were. They're all good kids, deep down, and now I know. And now I know they'll try their hardest to be devoted to youth group, to coming out to church, and that's all we can ask for. And we pray their faith strengthens more and more as they grow up and mature.

I came into this weekend with no idea of what I would get out. And what I got out was priceless. I met and talked to so, so, so many amazing kids, and I had oodles of fun. Yes, oodles of fun.

(Also, D- and V-, I love you guys. Really. You bring out the best in me, and the laughter never stops when we're together.)

To so many more great summer memories to come.

Catch Some Z's

Post #54: Dedicated to: The Road, by Cormac McCarthy

I have major, major, major sleeping issues. Like...last night, I slept about...9-10 hours. Which you'd think would be plenty, right? Wrong.

Today, I tutored someone in algebra 2 for two hours, then proceeded to the parking lot of the library only to find that my car's battery was dead. Yeah. Great times. So then we waited for AAA to come and jump-start it. And all was well. So it was kind of sort of a long day.

Then I came home, ate, did nothing for a little bit...and...*drumroll please*

...headed back to sleep.

For five hours. Five. Hours.

Like I said, I have sleeping issues. That I need to work on for the school year, otherwise I'm just going to go crazy. Or I'll already be crazy. Preferably...neither.

Dream

Post #53: Dedicated to: We'll Be a Dream; We the Kings

Do you remember the nights we'd

stay up just laughing,

smiling for hours

at anything?

Remember the nights we

drove around crazy

in love?

Too Soon

Post #52: Dedicated to: Prep, by Curtis Sittenfeld

It's July.

It's July?!?!?!?!?!?

I have been home for almost two whole months now...and time is going by crazy fast. Too fast. Wayy, toooo fast.

At the same time, though, I can't wait to be back at school. Every once in a while, I'm hit with a sudden homesickness. The smell of a certain day...the feeling of hitting the bed after a long day...the walk in the sunshine to work...the working at the library until wee hours of the morning...I miss it. So much so that I feel like school is my home. This home, the home where I'm at now, is my second home. Strange? At least it'll make it easier to adapt to living on the East Coast, right?

Anyway, it's been two months and I haven't accomplished any of the things I want to do. Furthermore, (I feel like I'm writing an English paper. I was about to use the word "moreover," but decided "furthermore" would be more...colloquial. If at all) my plans are changing. Plans for the school year.

For example: I was going to take Tonal Harmony I - a class in which I would need substantial piano skills. That I don't currently have. So seeing as how my mother used to be a piano teacher and all, I thought I'd re-learn how to play. Especially my left hand, aka the bass clef. But I haven't touched a piano since I got home, because I don't think I'm going to be taking this class anymore. Still...better to be safe than sorry, right? so I should learn? Just in case?

Example #2: I thought I would be joining orchestra in the fall. And, since I haven't played violin in over a year, I really need to brush up on my skills. And practice a song and some scales to audition with. Have I touched my violin since I got home? Why, yes. Once. And I'm not so sure anymore that I want to join orchestra. But again, I really don't know...and it's better to start practicing now just in case...right?

Boy. What an unproductive summer. (In terms of my personal goals.) My writing is significantly slowing down, to the point where it's a good day if I add a few sentences to the story. A bad day would be me not even opening the document. Which, when you add it all up...it's generally always pretty much a bad day.

I've got one more month left to make it all count. And I will. Make. It. All. Count.

Because it's going to be the one last final summer I have. I'm going to make my future happen, no matter what.

p.s. If anyone can find me a poster print of the CA picture, I would love you forever and a day.