Je ne sais pas

Post #198

Sometimes I wish there was someone who knew me better than I know myself. An outside perspective. A second opinion.

For the first time ever, though, I think I finally realized there are other choices in my life than being an English major. I'm not chained to a professional career. I'm not shackled to a life of editing and publishing, something I'm not even sure I want to do. Why can't I study anthropology? Why shouldn't I love what I learn, and love what I do? Now it's just a matter of taking that leap of faith, making that jump, but I don't know if I can. I'm not sure that I'm strong enough, courageous enough to change my life. I'm not ready just yet...

The broski comes home tomorrow night. Here's to...something. I need my brother, and I need to get to know my brother. I need him just as much as he needs me, even if he may not realize it yet.

Two Things

Post #197: Dedicated to: Iridescent; Linkin Park

Two things I want at this very moment:

cold weather

and How I Met Your Mother.

Ethnic Cuisine

Post #196: Dedicated to: You Know Who I Am; Matt Maher

I really wish I could write down or magically remember all of the cute things my kids say every day. They really do say the cutest things - especially the younger ones, the 6-7 year olds. So adorable. If I had a dollar for every time they made me laugh and go "awww," I'd be a millionaire. Okay, maybe not a millionaire. I'd have 100 bucks.

Aloha!

Post #195: Dedicated to: Remember Me

My mother informed me this morning that my entire family (think: grandpa, three sets of aunts/uncles + 2 kids each, and my parents and brother) will be going to Hawaii this winter break!

Every winter – more specifically, the week after Christmas and before New Years – our whole family (my dad's side) gets together in Fullerton. My cousins from Oregon fly down, my cousins from Korea fly out, and it's quite the family reunion. There are definitely times I feel like I don't belong and times I wish I didn't belong, but I do love my family no matter what.

And this year, we're going to Hawaii! I've never been, so I'm definitely stoked. This is going to be an exciting rest of the year - Denmark from Aug-Dec, and then a week in Hawaii! So excited. :)

On another note - I'd really love to make a cake like the one above. I tried toying around with food coloring, but I could never get the colors to look like that. Sadness.

Woody Allen

Post #194: Dedicated to: Midnight in Paris

After seeing Woody Allen's new film Midnight in Paris, I've definitely decided I am a big fan of his work. Granted, I haven't seen very much of his movies - only Vicky Cristina Barcelona and Cassandra's Dream, but I'm a huge fan nevertheless. I don't know if it's the humor, the acting, the music, the filming, or a combination of everything, but I love them all.

I highly recommend Midnight in Paris. (M-, if you're reading this promise me you'll go watch it!) Maybe you won't like Woody Allen's particular style as much as I do, but it will still be an enjoyable movie!

Quality Time

Post #193: Dedicated to: Surrender; Vineyard

When I have my own family in the future, quality family time is going to be a must. Especially in the form of family dinners. I want the kind of family dinners where everyone is smiling and happy to talk about their days, where we're all so thankful to be there, sitting down together, sharing our lives and spreading our love.

Ooh. That was cheesy. I loooove the metaphorical/figurative (not literal!) cheese.

New Life

Post #192: Dedicated to: Take It All; Hillsong United

I had an incredible weekend that I will never forget. After re-reading my last post...ha, I feel like this day was coming. And apparently, S- knew so too. The moment I told her about my weekend, the first thing she says is "Clara, you're growing so much! Thank the Lord...I've been praying for this day..." Suffice to say, I was definitely moved by that statement. (: God has blessed me with amazing friends.

But I've definitely underestimated how tough it would be – Although I don't know why, because everyone kept warning us. But still, I'm excited and finally ready to go on this new journey, laying everything down for the glory of the Lord. Finally. I've been waiting for this moment for so long.

So here I am.
Same old me,

just a new life.

Ewe-la-la

Post #191: Dedicated to: Never Gonna Leave This Bed; Maroon 5

(Happy Birthday A-! Hope you had the most fabulous of days. The photo is just for you. More HIMYM marathons to come!)

I feel weird these days. Just not myself. I think I know what's causing it, but I'm not sure why or how to shake it off. Nor can I quite explain it. All of the sudden, something's different. You might not notice any difference, but it's in there, hidden deep inside. I don't like feeling like I'm changing. But I don't know why.