What I Need

Post #72: Dedicated to: Friday Night Lights

Friday Night Lights was a great movie. A truly spectacular, perfect mix of emotion and everything else. Great movie.

It's the last day of September. It's also incredibly windy, rainy, humid, and muggy. I've come to realize that my moods really do reflect the weather. When it's a perfectly sunny, cool day, I'm so happy. And I have no reason to be happy - I just am. And the sun helps. But when it's a day like today...I just can't help but want to go to sleep to run away and escape the world.

D-, can I just say that I really appreciate the way you always reassure me? It's what I need.

I do a lot of listening. I listen to other people's problems. I empathize. I sympathize. I tell them, "aw...I'm so sorry...that sucks, but I promise it'll get better!" and so on and so forth. And after I listen to them, I tell them my problems, and they somehow always manage to brush it off and get the conversation back on them and their woes. Always. And that's not what I need.

When I tell you something bad, when I tell you something that's worrying me or causing me stress, just tell me that it's gonna be okay. Don't laugh at it. Don't laugh at me, or make me feel like an idiot for telling you anything. Tell me..."I'm sorry, that sucks, but I have total and complete faith in you and it's going to get better, I promise." Even if it might not really get better. Just tell me that. Reassure me. If I say I feel stupid in class, tell me that I'm not. Tell me I'm smart. If I tell you I feel ugly, tell me that I'm not. Tell me I'm beautiful. And tell me, "hey, even if things don't change, I'll love you for you, any day, every day. Have faith, because I have faith in you."

That's what I need.