There are too many thoughts running through my head, and I just want to sleep sleep sleep them all away. But I wake up and there they are, staring at me in the face. Because they won't go away.
My thoughts are much like the people I want to avoid. I can't avoid them forever. I can ignore them and pretend like they don't exist. But they do. And they always return. Even though I wish they wouldn't. Life would be a simpler place.
Because let's face it. I have no courage. I'm not strong, I'm not fierce. I worry. A lot. And it holds me back. But I don't mind. So I sit here, watching chick flicks and wondering if anything will ever happen. Because it never does. And on the extremely rare chance that it does, I'll run the other way. Because I don't know what to do. I don't know that I want to know what to do. I don't know what I want.
So maybe courage is not the absence of fear. Maybe fear can co-exist alongside courage. And yet still...still...
But no regrets. Yet. Just a lot of thinking. Just too much thinking, and too much time. And not enough time. My life is complicated. But it shouldn't be.
Clara, you are strong, and fierce! lol. and really, I can empathize with you on the running away and watching/reading and wondering parts...no regrets..everything will work out <3
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